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J is for Jacking Off/ Jilling Off

J is for Jack/Jill Off

In some circles, jack off is jerk off.  I was over 40 before I heard the term jilling off and found it terribly amusing as I saw no reason to use a different term for women than for men.  Both terms refer to masturbation.

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Here are some facts about masturbation:

Just about everyone masturbates.  The most recent research has 95% of men and 89% of women admitting to masturbating.  Masturbating is not only normal, it has health benefits especially for men.  Masturbating lowers the risk of prostate cancer.

50-60% of women use vibrators or sex toys when they masturbate.  There are so many types of vibrator around these days, it is no wonder that women enjoy using them when masturbating.  When I was a teen, the only vibrator available was one that looked like this and was hard as a rock, but not in a good way (actually the one in the picture looks better than what I saw.)  I didn’t have the opportunity to go out and shop so I never saw the original Hitachi Magic Wand  The wand is best for clitoral stimulation while there are also a large number of vibrators that can be used internally too.

Masturbation does not take long.  The average man lasts three minutes and 45 seconds when masturbating.  There is less consensus on how long the average woman takes to reach orgasm when masturbating.  Figures range from 20 seconds (yes, I said 20 SECONDS) to 20 minutes.    Masturbation to orgasm is a better sleep aid than any sleeping pills.

There are over 500 names/terms for masturbation.  The term masturbation isn’t very exciting.  Perhaps that’s why so many euphemisms have been created.    This video from refinery29 highlights a bunch of creative terms women use, including jilling off.

Both men and women use pornography as an aid to quick masturbation.  More men use pornography but this has always been the case.  However, now women are using pornography more often as an aid to masturbation.

Masturbation is good for your sex life. People try out fantasies during masturbation prior to deciding if they would like to try them out with their partners in ‘real life’.   This can be a great way to testing out how hot ideas and activities make you.  However, there are a lot of things that we fantasise about for masturbation that in life we would not find exciting or even enjoyable.   No reason not to use the material for fantasy though!

Masturbation can be more than just a quick affair.  There are a bunch of techniques you can use to spice it up – and build your orgasmic skills.  For example, edging is when you bring yourself to the brink repeatedly before you finally let yourself come.  Orgasm should then be explosive.    You can see how many times you can make yourself come in a short period of time.  Use both hands instead of one or perhaps use no hands at all.

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People masturbate throughout their lifespans.  Children begin to touch themselves as babies and toddlers because it feels good.  They touch themselves for comfort as well as for pleasure.  Orgasm does not become the goal until they are older.   People continue to masturbate, regardless of relationship status throughout adulthood.     Most people in relationships continue to masturbate.  Sometimes they incorporate this into sex with their partners.  Often, however, they simply continue to masturbate as they always have done.

Masturbation during sex is one of the easiest ways to make sure a woman reaches orgasm.  Women who masturbate regularly know exactly what they need to be able to reach that peak.  It can be difficult to get the same type of stimulation during sex with a partner.  Only 20% of women reach orgasm routinely during intercourse without any additional stimulation.  If a woman stimulates her clitoris during intercourse, the rate of orgasm is much higher.


Many religious groups see masturbation as sinful and bad for you.  Despite this, there is no scientific evidence that masturbation is bad for you.     In fact, the evidence is that it is good for you.    So why not take some time and explore….

If you’re curious about other A to Z of sex topics, listen to my weekly podcast. You can find it here or on iTunes.