DrLoriBeth adapt licensed AdobeStock

I is for Ice cube – Temperature play

I is for Ice Cube

I have always run a bit hot – I overheat easily.  This has only become worse since I entered the metamorphosis (as my son titled menopause).    Since menopause began, not only do I overheat more easily and more often, I actually get cold more easily.  My body’s thermostat is no longer remotely predictable.   As a result of these changes, I have explored temperature play during sex a bit more often.


H is for HIV

I was 17 when I learned that putting an ice cube in your mouth when giving head to a boy would either cause him to lose his hard on or bring him almost immediately to orgasm.    I thought this was a nifty trick and having tried it with my boyfriends, I decided to try it with a girlfriend.  She screamed so loud that the neighbours pounded on the wall and threatened to phone the police.

Care needs to be used if you are going to play with ice cubes as the flesh of our genitals is delicate and if the ice is too cold, you can burn your flesh.  Ice burns are not at all pleasant.    But as long as you are careful, playing with temperature can be extremely exciting.

Kissing with a slightly melted ice cube can be a lot of fun.  The changes in temperature – heat to cold – can be very arousing.  Using cold toys can be even more arousing!  The feel of a frozen glass dildo is alarming at first and then as your body heat begins to cause it to melt, arousing and as your lover fucks you with it, incendiary.  You want to make sure that there isn’t a layer of frost on the dildo and you are best off covering it with a condom so that it does not freeze to your skin as that would be awful.   You can buy some beautiful glass dildos and stainless steel ones for temperature play.  Or you can make your own.  Remember to use a lot of lube with the stainless steel ones so that you don’t end up with the dildo sticking to your bits!

More fun is to play with different types of temperature.  Consider using hot wax, for example.  First there is the shock of the heat and then as it cools, the texture changes

licensed adobe stock, wax bum

Alternating between hot and cold can be intensely arousing.  Or perhaps try hot on some areas of the body and cold on others.   Some people use fire as part of their play.  This is a subject for another blog.  Suffice it to say that it can be really exciting and also very scary.  Stainless steel toys can be used to move from cold to hot and back to cold again.

You could also consider something cold that morphs into something hot.  For those of you who like figging , an alternative is to consider chili peppers to create that building heat in those sensitive moist places.  Consider refrigerating them first for the feel from cold to hot.  Or perhaps create a dildo fashioned on this ice pop!

A is for Aphrodisiac

If that seems too intense to start with, consider doing what many Scandinavian people do in the winter.  Take a nice hot sauna, until you are drenched in sweat and your muscles are nice and loose and then head outside.  You can either jump into an icy lake or roll in the snow.  Enjoy the shocking temperature change and note the changes in your body!  Finally, head back into the nice hot sauna and enjoy each other.