Encore: F is for Fucking

Welcome to the A to Z of Sex® with me Dr Lori Beth Bisbey. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Today the letter is F and F is for Fucking.
The word fuck is defined first as to have sexual intercourse. The second definition is to destroy or ruin something. How is it that a word for one of the most incredibly beautiful amazing activities you can engage in is now synonymous with destruction? It is unclear but this began in the mid-nineteenth century. It appears that the word began to me used for sexual intercourse in the 1400’s.

For some couples, fucking is the entirety of sexual interaction as fucking is the sexual act that leads to procreation. For other couples, fucking is one of a range of choices on the sexual menu. Some people avoid fucking because they do not wish to use birth control and don’t want a pregnancy to happen. Others avoid it because they don’t enjoy fucking.

Did you know there are at least 119 positions for fucking? Most people tend to stick to one or two positions. Many people follow the ethos: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. If sex is going reasonably well then they will stick to the same routine. When it comes to sex, people can often be risk averse. They worry that suggesting new things will lead to rejection, shaming or arguments. The assumption that is being made is that suggesting something new means that you are unhappy with what you are doing currently. In reality, what happens if you don’t embrace newness and change is boredom sets in and couples feel less excited by each other and sex tends to become routine and eventually they will have sex less.

For many women, fucking is not the best way to have an orgasm. 28% of women never manage to have an orgasm during fucking. If a woman stimulates her clitoris using her hands, her partner’s hand or a toy, it is more likely that she will reach orgasm during penetrative sex. Some positions are better for clitoral stimulation than others. Here are five of the best positions:
1 Girl on top This works well because the girl has more control of the pace of penetration, the angle of penetration, and the depth of penetration. Reverse Cowgirl is when you turn around and face his feet. This gives new angles, new areas of the vagina are being reached in penetration. If you lean back you will increase the pressure on your G Spot which can feel delicious and orgasmic all on its own. You also have a good vantage point to use your hand to stimulate your clitoris.
2 Doggy Style allows for deep penetration, G spot stimulation, cervix stimulation and a free hand to use to rub your clitoris while you are being fucked. All of this raises the likelihood of orgasm.
3 Coital Alignment technique This is a bridge like position. You start in missionary position and then have him move his body up towards your head, pulling his pelvis higher than usual, allowing him to grind his pubic bone into your clitoris. He should focus on the grind instead of banging in and out.
4 The Bridge This one begins as missionary position. The man sits up so that he could sit back down onto his ankles. The woman puts her feet on the bed and arches up so that she is in a low bridge position. This position brings your clitoris to an easy to reach place so he can rub it while fucking you or you can use a small vibrator in between you. There are some great toys that are made to be used together.
5 Sideways straddle This puts the woman straddling the man’s leg – facing away from him. Then using a hand to guide his penis inside as she lowers herself down on him. This position is great for grinding.

Sure fire ways to make sure when you fuck, it’s smokin’ hot:
1 Take your time Sometimes hard and fast is brilliant. Rough, hard and fast can have consequences even when it is hot as hell sex. You are more likely to end up tearing your vagina or irritating your vagina. When you take your time, you give your body the time to blossom, sensations become more intense. There is time for orgasm to build.
2 Experiment with positions to find the one that works best with that person at that moment. Our anatomy is not all the same. Some dicks are bigger than others. Some dicks are thicker than others. Some have a bend. Some pussies are tighter than others. Some pussies are shorter than others. Some cervixes are lower down than others. All of these dimensions impact enjoyment. If your dick is shorter then positions that allow for deep penetration may work best. If your dick is larger, then positions that allow for shallow penetration may be more rewarding.
3 Take care of safety issues There is nothing worse than being in the midst of intense foreplay and realising you have no condom for safe sex and/or no method of birth control in place. Make sure you take care of these issues in advance so that the transition to fucking feels effortless.
4 Find different places to fuck to spice things up. This also helps you to try new positions. How about on a fur rug in front of the fire? This is a perfect place to try seated sexual positions. Or in sitting on his lap in the bath? The water can add to the experience.
5 When things don’t work as planned, don’t get too serious. Laughter increases intimacy. Allow yourself to laugh when things don’t work quite right. Then when you have stopped, try again or choose a new position.

Joining me to talk all about fucking is Susan Bratton. Author of 27 books, including Sexual Soulmates, Relationship Magic, Dirty Talk and How To Be Instantly Hotter & Sexier; publisher of titles such as the Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection, The Passion Patch and Revive Her Drive; television celebrity; YouTube star; Instagram influencer; spokesperson and advocate for sexual wellness, passionate lovemaking and bedroom communication skills, Susan Bratton is a phenomenon in the world of pleasure and connection.