erotic lucillle ballbuster

E is for Erotic

Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex with me, Dr Lori Beth Bisbey. I am a sex and intimacy coach and psychologist and I’ve spent the last 30 + years helping people to create hot and healthy sexual and intimate relationships. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Today the letter is E and E is for Erotic.

The definition of erotic is relating to or tending to arouse desire or sexual excitement. There are many things that are naturally erotic – like a woman’s naked body or a man’s naked body, a deep slow kiss. There are also many things that can be eroticised, that is they can become erotic because of the context.

Joining me today to talk about all things erotic is Mistress Lucille She is a pro domme based out of Washington DC. She is committed to education and learning based kink. She also hosts small community events at her DC area dungeon The Domus and regularly attends US based events coast to coast to continue growing and evolving within this lifestyle.

Let’s start by talking about the wide range of things and experiences a person can find erotic. Eroticism was once a fundamental way of seeing the world, part of the fourfold vision of the ancient Greek world that initiated the chosen into the world of philosophical vision, when eroticism was education. The fourfold vision was Socrates’ idea that there were four essential qualities that makes life worth living: The prophetic, the mystical, the poetic and the erotic. He believed that without these states of being you would find it difficult to have the energy needed to overcome all obstacles.

Later in the show, I will go over the habits and routines you can develop to be more erotic and bring more eroticism into your life.

Here are the practices and attitudes you can bring into your life in order to become more erotic:
Be curious – especially about strangers and about things that appear strange to you. If you are curious, you seek to learn and the more you learn the richer your life can become. When you are curious, you approach strange new things and people with an openness that allows you to share some of their excitement and their feelings. This is necessary if you are going to be a fully erotic person.

Talk well and be silent well. Enjoy and savour your words. Talk fully and completely and when the time comes for silence (and there is always a time for silence), make good contact, and experience the full silence. Make eye contact and look deeply into the other person’s eyes.

Have confidence and believe in yourself. This is incredibly erotic to everyone. Someone who is sexually confident is like a magnet made of neodymium (a rare metal) – pulls metals in just like the sexually confident person pulls people in without effort. People are extremely attracted to confidence. People who are confident exude it. You can smell the confidence on them.

Notice commonalities between yourself and others. The more you notice, the easier it is to connect. Dispute stereotypes and prejudice and point to the things we all share.

Be a little mysterious – hold back a little – create intense craving in others. Craving, wanting, desiring is extremely erotic – often even more erotic than when those desires are satisfied.

Finally, savour every part of your life. Taste all of it – the good, the mediocre and the bad. Fully erotic people find pleasure in the most ordinary of experiences and the most unusual of places.

You can reach Mistress Lucille at:


Thanks for listening today. If you have more questions, email me at If you have an idea for the show please send it in! Interested in doing a deep dive study into the DS in BDSM?
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