B is for Booty Call

B is for Booty Call, a term made popular in the early 1990’s but that came from 1985 when Anthony ‘Creo-D’ Darlington used to talk about going to pick up the phone and ‘call that booty’.   Over time, call that booty became booty call.   In the early 90’s, Darlington and his partner Brown formed Duice and released a CD.  The fourth track was ‘Booty Call’.    ‘It’s two o’clock and the club has closed.  Suddenly you get the urge to make a booty call.’

Earlier references to booty call can be found in a number of places.  In the 80’s, men would talk about making a booty call later in the evening, after being out with friends.  In those days, booty calls were hook ups that you didn’t want your friends and family to know about.  They were often with people you wouldn’t date or be seen with in public.   By the 90’s women were making booty calls as well.   And now, booty call is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as a ‘visit made to a person for the (sole) purpose of having sexual intercourse; an invitation to have sexual intercourse’

The best booty calls happen in the wee hours of the morning with someone who is excited to do whatever you desire and when you are finished, kiss you and leave you to your peace.   As a single girl in grad school, I loved a booty call after an evening spent studying or writing an essay.    Having spent hours in my head there is nothing better than being forced to pay attention to my body and to release all the built up anxiety and tension.

Modern booty calls are often friends with benefits or f*ck buddy arrangements.  I put the term ‘friends with benefits’ in google and I found 10 dating sites devoted to casual hook ups!  There is no longer a wide spread negative connotation to these relationships.   Managing booty calls well is essential to creating the hottest low drama experience.

Here is my booty call etiquette so you can enjoy sizzling hot sex without strings:

  • Always have safe sex. Yeah, I know.  This is supposed to be exciting edgy no strings sex.  Talking about sexual histories, partners, condoms and the like sounds like a mood killer.  There are dozens of ways to make sure you have safe sex without killing the mood.   The last thing you want is lasting evidence of something that was supposed to be a brief encounter.
  • Keep conversation light. Don’t talk about life goals, values, family, and partners (except what you need to discuss to do the safe sex conversation).   Keeping things light allows you to focus on the great sex without setting up expectations for the future.
  • If you don’t know the person well, make sure you set up a ‘safe call’. A ‘safe call’ can be done in one of two ways.  Either you arrange for someone to call you at a specific time and you have an agreed phrase that will mean ‘I’m in trouble’ or you arrange to call someone at a specific time and you have an agreed phrase that will mean ‘I’m in trouble’.  For example, the phrase might be ‘I will see you at Jennifer’s house’ which doesn’t sound strange if you are taking a call but can mean ‘I’m in trouble phone the police’.  Make sure that someone knows where you will be and when you will be expected home.
  • Give your partner your undivided attention. This makes for the best sex.  As long as you are safe, turn off the phones, email etc. if you can bear it!  Make sure the environment is comfortable, put on something sexy (or wear nothing at all) and prepare to indulge all of your senses in complete erotic abandon.
  • After the booty call, get in touch to say ‘thank you’. Being polite serves more than one purpose.  The first is that it is just good manners to thank someone for spending enjoyable time with you.  The second purpose, you can let the person know if you are willing to do it again in the future.  Remember to keep it light.  Your partner will remember that you appreciated her when she next wants a booty call.
  • And finally, keep it private! Don’t tell everyone who you hooked up with…

I’d love to hear all about your favourite booty calls.  Email me at drloribeth@atozofsex.com and/or comment below.   To find out what I’m up to or to work with me, sign up for the A to Z of Sex newsletter and go check out www.the-intimacy-coach.com

 

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