D is for Dominant Pharaoh Kaf-Ra (Shakir Rashaan) 004

Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth, an intimacy coach and psychologist and I am your host.  We are working our way through the erotic alphabet, one letter at a time.  Today the letter is D and D is for Dominant.   Dominant is defined as having power or influence over others.  A person who considers him or herself a dominant is one who takes the role of the leader in a sexual or romantic relationship in which there is a power exchange.  Joining me today is

Pharaoh Khaf-Ra is a lifestyle Master with over twenty years of experience in the real-time BDSM/Fetish community. He has facilitated webinars and classes at various conventions and conferences on D/s dynamics and other topics. He is one half of a Dominant Couple-led House, the House of Kemi-nesew, married to Empress Nahara, a founding sister of the Onyx Pearls Southeast. Pharaoh is also an accomplished published author, writing under the pen name of Shakir Rashaan, with over a dozen credits to his catalog.

The most important traits for a Dominant in any relationship include patience, mastery of self, integrity and flexibility.  Pharaoh Khaf-Ra points out that a variety of kingdoms in ages past were led by married couples and highlights the stability that two leaders can bring.   He also highlights the time it takes to build any relationship and to build a good relationship based on power exchange.  Any goals are longer term and expecting things to happen all at once is the quickest way to destroy a relationship.  He references three different power exchange relationships that helped him to hone his own ideas over the years.   Delegation is an essential skill for leaders of any type and it is a wise Master who makes full use of those who serve him.

Shakir Rashaan is the author of the bestselling Nubian Underworld series (The Awakening, Legacy, Tempest) and the Kink, P.I. series (Obsession, Deception, Reckoning) and several anthology credits, including Zane Presents Z-Rated: Chocolate Flava 3. Rashaan is also developing other projects under the pen name P.K. Rashaan. He currently resides in suburban Atlanta with his wife and two children. You can see more of Rashaan at ShakirRashaan.com.

Website link: http://www.ShakirRashaan.com

FB Link: http://www.facebook.com/ShakirRashaanEsquire/

Twitter Link: http://www.twitter.com/ShakirRashaan

  • […] D/s relationships are ones in which dominance and submission are the primary feature.  In these relationships, people usually take on one role (either the dominant role or the submissive role).  Sometimes people are switches meaning that they enjoy switching roles and sometimes they even switch roles within the same relationship.  But I will talk about that later.    For now,  I will talk about the situations in which a person takes on one role in each relationship.  Some D/s relationships involve bondage and discipline or sadism and masochism but others do not.  The feature of the relationship which turns both parties on is the power exchange. One person is in charge and the other agrees to submit to their rule.  Submission can be part time, sexually only for example, or it can be full time (e.g. in all aspects of the relationship).  D/s relationships often have clear structures, with rituals, rules and expectations all spelled out.  Many people who engage in them gain pleasure from all of these aspects.  The submissives enjoy giving up control and being led by someone else.  The dominants enjoy the control over their partners, having someone do as they desire.  This is a simplistic description of what both parties might get out of the relationship.  For more on these relationships, listen to this series of podcasts from Sex Spoken Here and D is for Dominant from the A to Z of Sex ™  podcast. […]